Wanted: Personal Assistant

Wanted: Personal Assistant

Must be willing to make and receive numerous phone calls on a daily basis. Subject of phone calls can be, but is not limited to:

• scheduling parent conferences with 100% success rate
• scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents
• scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents to be completed within a 10-day window
• scheduling parent conferences for parents that can't actually come on parent conference night
• scheduling alternative times for parent conferences during teacher's planning period, before school, or after school (when even the teacher doesn't even know what days he/she will actually HAVE a planning period, or when the teacher only has 1-day lead time as to whether or not they will have morning duty the following week, or when the teacher doesn't know when a last minute after school frivolous meeting will be scheduled)
• tracking down missing paperwork/documentation for records
• communicating information to parents about missing/incomplete student work
• communicating information to parents about their child's negative behaviors in school

Must be willing to file paperwork that involves, but is not limited to:

• student assignments
• student behaviors
• student growth/progress
• student interventions
• student absences
• student tardies
• student's new/revised home contact numbers
• parent communication
• student observations
• running record of all times and events teacher goes above and beyond what is necessary

Must be willing to make copies that are, but are not limited to:

• student assignments
• notes home

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to keep the teacher informed of:

• upcoming staff meetings
• upcoming planning meetings
• upcoming off-campus meetings
• upcoming off-campus-planning meetings
• upcoming campus events that affect instructional time
• upcoming campus events that are after school hours
• unscheduled important last-minute meetings
• unscheduled important last-minute deadlines
• unscheduled frivolous last-minute meetings
• unscheduled frivolous last-minute deadlines
• unscheduled frivolous things in general
• duty assignments and dates
• specials rotation
• upcoming due dates
• upcoming assemblies
• upcoming counselor guidance lessons

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to help the teacher:

• schedule educational events for students
• schedule bathroom breaks
• schedule days on which the teacher can get "sick"

Experience in interior decorating a plus

• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with various student works, to be rotated out every 2 weeks
• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom without covering more than 60% of wall space in order to stay in compliance with fire codes
• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with the "stuff" that meets the educational requirements of each department (i.e. math, science, reading) while still finding room for the student works that need to be displayed and not go over the 60% wall-coverage as required by the fire department (when 75% of one wall is windows and 80% of another wall is ceiling to floor cabinets)
• use interior decorating experience to organize student desks for cooperative grouping while still keeping the desks in a position in which all students can see the board....with occasional times of organizing straight rows and columns for testing days....and then moving them back for non-testing days.

Annual Salary: 0.01 K (paid by Mr. Ed U. Cater himself)

Give Me A "K"!

I showed up at work this morning, and no more than 5 seconds had passed when I had a student trying to give me something. The kids were still having breakfast in the cafeteria. I was walking by and I could hear a student call my name. I turned around, and there was my student, LL.

He had a big grin on his face and he said, "Mr. Cater, I have something to give you." He started to reach into his backpack, and I stopped him with his hand midway into the pack. I told him to hold on to it for now, and that he could give it to me later when he came to class. He agreed, removed his hand from the backpack, and went back into the cafeteria to continue to eat his breakfast.

At my school, students have assigned locations to report to when they finish breakfast. For LL (like all my homeroom students), the location is in the hallway near my classroom door. There, they find a seat on the floor, and quietly read a book (while teachers who are on morning duty shifts, monitor).

After running a couple of errands within the building, I finally arrived at my room. LL (who had already finished his breakfast) was sitting as he should be, reading away. He caught me out of the corner of his eye, immediately jumped up, and said, "Mr. Cater, here...let me give you this..." I interrupted him, and reminded him that he was going to wait until class time. He smiled, agreed, and sat back down, continuing to read.

I entered my room, and continued to prepare the room for the day. After about 10 minutes passed, the morning bell rang. I went outside into the hall to collect my students. LL was already digging in his bag to give me this "thing" that he had been wanting to give me now for a little over 30 minutes. It was imperative (to him, anyway) to get it to me right away. Probably because, if he didn't give it to me at that very moment, he would forget completely (kinda like his homework situation).

He excitedly went into the classroom, set his backpack on his desk, and pulled out a......

Koozie.

Yup, a koozie. A koozie promoting "Sync," some sort of electronic/computer operating system featured in Ford/Lincoln/Mercury automobiles. He probably got it from the automobile building at the Texas State Fair, which is going on now here in Dallas. Anyway, I acted surprised, happy, and grateful. He was so excited! Apparently, he had a stash in his backpack because he asked if he could go see some other teachers. He obviously had several more official "Sync" koozies that he needed to distribute.

I always seem to get strange, odd little gifts from kids. Just add koozie to my ever-growing list of impractical-off-the-beaten-path-acts-of-thoughtfulness. While you do that, I'll take another sip of my "insulated" ice-cold Miller Lite. :)

A Rambling Post About Data, Poker, Rubber Cement, and Being Missed..........with a slight jab at micromanaging administrators

I returned to school on Thursday after a 3-day absence. I could've had the swine flu, could've had a bad sinus infection, could've had bronchitis. Who knows for sure. The symptoms are all very similar and the germs for all three of those ailments have been affecting staff and students for weeks now (and that's not including just good ole ragweed, mountain cedar, and other respiratory system-aggravators). There have been so many germs floating in the air at my school that I've been tempted to wear a bio-suit (except there is no way to get a necktie to wrap around the head apparatus nicely). Plus, they only come in solid baby blue, yellow, or white (bio-suits just don't lend themselves to aesthetic tie coordinations).

Anyway, I was pleasantly amused with the reception. Apparently, people (including some adults) missed me. Or, at least they noticed that I was nowhere to be seen for 3 days. They were, however, probably just envious that I happened to be absent during the rare (yet, lately becoming more common) conglomeration of pointless meetings and meaningless deadlines that created the "Perfect Storm," if you will.

But, I don't want to get negative. I've got plenty of time for negativity. And, I'm sure I'll have plenty of other opportunities to share. I just wanted to point out that my students were very happy to see me (and to be quite honest, I really wasn't happy to see them). I got a few hugs, some smiles, some pats on the shoulder, some genuine comments, and some thoughtful "homemade" cards. The students probably knew what I had been going through, since most of them already went through it last week. I'm pretty sure one of the little buggers gave me the nice virus.

Anyway, it was nice to feel "welcomed back" and "missed." I guess they really do need structure and consistency. Apparently the sub let them run amok. And apparently the sub was "mean."

And, I thought I was mean.

I get home almost every day feeling like I've been an ass. Not a good feeling.

But, I guess I'm really not. Not mean, that is..... Or, an ass for that matter. Anyway, I'm stern and fair for the most part. I try to help them as much as I can, and I don't demean any of them. A little over a week ago, I did kick a chair out of frustration (a strategically placed outburst, of course).

So, to get to the point.... they missed me. I, however, did not miss them. They are a very challenging group this year (academically, behaviorally, and socially). I mean, I have students that can't read 6-digit numbers (or more) with any kind of consistency. I have kids that have no concept of "borrowing". I have kids that want to add for every single word problem they encounter. Challenging, to say the least.

Then, I have a whole army of administrative "over-seers" making my job harder, by demanding that I work "smarter." Ahh... but, we're drifting into that good-ole negativity again, aren't we? Not going to go there on this post. Sorry.

So, as I was saying.....my students missed me, but I did not miss them. These students are my "cards." The hand that I have been dealt. I doubt that I can make a "Full House" with this deck of cards. My administrators....all of them....from my boss, my boss' boss, my boss' boss' boss to the coaches that my boss' boss has seen fit to assign to our campus to the academic coordinator are always preaching "data." Look at the data, chart the progress, look at areas of weakness, use an intervention, check the data again, yada yada yada. They expect me to come up with a "Royal Flush." However, it is hard to get that kind of hand when you start off with a 3 of spades and a 7 of diamonds.

But, for all the over-emphasis on data, there is one aspect that the "data-preachers" always seem to neglect. The human aspect. These kids are not just numbers. They're human beings. They can be resilient. I need to get it in my head to stop looking at them as numbers. Numbers are what make me go home at the end of the day, feeling like I've been an ass. Humans are what make me go home at the end of the day, feeling like I'll be missed.

It's been 6 weeks. A full grading period. Today, my students let me know that they missed my presence. I think the bond is starting to solidify. I think, maybe next time, I'll miss them.