Wanted: Personal Assistant

Wanted: Personal Assistant

Must be willing to make and receive numerous phone calls on a daily basis. Subject of phone calls can be, but is not limited to:

• scheduling parent conferences with 100% success rate
• scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents
• scheduling parent conferences with 100% of the parents to be completed within a 10-day window
• scheduling parent conferences for parents that can't actually come on parent conference night
• scheduling alternative times for parent conferences during teacher's planning period, before school, or after school (when even the teacher doesn't even know what days he/she will actually HAVE a planning period, or when the teacher only has 1-day lead time as to whether or not they will have morning duty the following week, or when the teacher doesn't know when a last minute after school frivolous meeting will be scheduled)
• tracking down missing paperwork/documentation for records
• communicating information to parents about missing/incomplete student work
• communicating information to parents about their child's negative behaviors in school

Must be willing to file paperwork that involves, but is not limited to:

• student assignments
• student behaviors
• student growth/progress
• student interventions
• student absences
• student tardies
• student's new/revised home contact numbers
• parent communication
• student observations
• running record of all times and events teacher goes above and beyond what is necessary

Must be willing to make copies that are, but are not limited to:

• student assignments
• notes home

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to keep the teacher informed of:

• upcoming staff meetings
• upcoming planning meetings
• upcoming off-campus meetings
• upcoming off-campus-planning meetings
• upcoming campus events that affect instructional time
• upcoming campus events that are after school hours
• unscheduled important last-minute meetings
• unscheduled important last-minute deadlines
• unscheduled frivolous last-minute meetings
• unscheduled frivolous last-minute deadlines
• unscheduled frivolous things in general
• duty assignments and dates
• specials rotation
• upcoming due dates
• upcoming assemblies
• upcoming counselor guidance lessons

Must be willing to monitor a school calendar so as to help the teacher:

• schedule educational events for students
• schedule bathroom breaks
• schedule days on which the teacher can get "sick"

Experience in interior decorating a plus

• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with various student works, to be rotated out every 2 weeks
• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom without covering more than 60% of wall space in order to stay in compliance with fire codes
• use interior decorating experience to decorate classroom with the "stuff" that meets the educational requirements of each department (i.e. math, science, reading) while still finding room for the student works that need to be displayed and not go over the 60% wall-coverage as required by the fire department (when 75% of one wall is windows and 80% of another wall is ceiling to floor cabinets)
• use interior decorating experience to organize student desks for cooperative grouping while still keeping the desks in a position in which all students can see the board....with occasional times of organizing straight rows and columns for testing days....and then moving them back for non-testing days.

Annual Salary: 0.01 K (paid by Mr. Ed U. Cater himself)

Give Me A "K"!

I showed up at work this morning, and no more than 5 seconds had passed when I had a student trying to give me something. The kids were still having breakfast in the cafeteria. I was walking by and I could hear a student call my name. I turned around, and there was my student, LL.

He had a big grin on his face and he said, "Mr. Cater, I have something to give you." He started to reach into his backpack, and I stopped him with his hand midway into the pack. I told him to hold on to it for now, and that he could give it to me later when he came to class. He agreed, removed his hand from the backpack, and went back into the cafeteria to continue to eat his breakfast.

At my school, students have assigned locations to report to when they finish breakfast. For LL (like all my homeroom students), the location is in the hallway near my classroom door. There, they find a seat on the floor, and quietly read a book (while teachers who are on morning duty shifts, monitor).

After running a couple of errands within the building, I finally arrived at my room. LL (who had already finished his breakfast) was sitting as he should be, reading away. He caught me out of the corner of his eye, immediately jumped up, and said, "Mr. Cater, here...let me give you this..." I interrupted him, and reminded him that he was going to wait until class time. He smiled, agreed, and sat back down, continuing to read.

I entered my room, and continued to prepare the room for the day. After about 10 minutes passed, the morning bell rang. I went outside into the hall to collect my students. LL was already digging in his bag to give me this "thing" that he had been wanting to give me now for a little over 30 minutes. It was imperative (to him, anyway) to get it to me right away. Probably because, if he didn't give it to me at that very moment, he would forget completely (kinda like his homework situation).

He excitedly went into the classroom, set his backpack on his desk, and pulled out a......

Koozie.

Yup, a koozie. A koozie promoting "Sync," some sort of electronic/computer operating system featured in Ford/Lincoln/Mercury automobiles. He probably got it from the automobile building at the Texas State Fair, which is going on now here in Dallas. Anyway, I acted surprised, happy, and grateful. He was so excited! Apparently, he had a stash in his backpack because he asked if he could go see some other teachers. He obviously had several more official "Sync" koozies that he needed to distribute.

I always seem to get strange, odd little gifts from kids. Just add koozie to my ever-growing list of impractical-off-the-beaten-path-acts-of-thoughtfulness. While you do that, I'll take another sip of my "insulated" ice-cold Miller Lite. :)

A Rambling Post About Data, Poker, Rubber Cement, and Being Missed..........with a slight jab at micromanaging administrators

I returned to school on Thursday after a 3-day absence. I could've had the swine flu, could've had a bad sinus infection, could've had bronchitis. Who knows for sure. The symptoms are all very similar and the germs for all three of those ailments have been affecting staff and students for weeks now (and that's not including just good ole ragweed, mountain cedar, and other respiratory system-aggravators). There have been so many germs floating in the air at my school that I've been tempted to wear a bio-suit (except there is no way to get a necktie to wrap around the head apparatus nicely). Plus, they only come in solid baby blue, yellow, or white (bio-suits just don't lend themselves to aesthetic tie coordinations).

Anyway, I was pleasantly amused with the reception. Apparently, people (including some adults) missed me. Or, at least they noticed that I was nowhere to be seen for 3 days. They were, however, probably just envious that I happened to be absent during the rare (yet, lately becoming more common) conglomeration of pointless meetings and meaningless deadlines that created the "Perfect Storm," if you will.

But, I don't want to get negative. I've got plenty of time for negativity. And, I'm sure I'll have plenty of other opportunities to share. I just wanted to point out that my students were very happy to see me (and to be quite honest, I really wasn't happy to see them). I got a few hugs, some smiles, some pats on the shoulder, some genuine comments, and some thoughtful "homemade" cards. The students probably knew what I had been going through, since most of them already went through it last week. I'm pretty sure one of the little buggers gave me the nice virus.

Anyway, it was nice to feel "welcomed back" and "missed." I guess they really do need structure and consistency. Apparently the sub let them run amok. And apparently the sub was "mean."

And, I thought I was mean.

I get home almost every day feeling like I've been an ass. Not a good feeling.

But, I guess I'm really not. Not mean, that is..... Or, an ass for that matter. Anyway, I'm stern and fair for the most part. I try to help them as much as I can, and I don't demean any of them. A little over a week ago, I did kick a chair out of frustration (a strategically placed outburst, of course).

So, to get to the point.... they missed me. I, however, did not miss them. They are a very challenging group this year (academically, behaviorally, and socially). I mean, I have students that can't read 6-digit numbers (or more) with any kind of consistency. I have kids that have no concept of "borrowing". I have kids that want to add for every single word problem they encounter. Challenging, to say the least.

Then, I have a whole army of administrative "over-seers" making my job harder, by demanding that I work "smarter." Ahh... but, we're drifting into that good-ole negativity again, aren't we? Not going to go there on this post. Sorry.

So, as I was saying.....my students missed me, but I did not miss them. These students are my "cards." The hand that I have been dealt. I doubt that I can make a "Full House" with this deck of cards. My administrators....all of them....from my boss, my boss' boss, my boss' boss' boss to the coaches that my boss' boss has seen fit to assign to our campus to the academic coordinator are always preaching "data." Look at the data, chart the progress, look at areas of weakness, use an intervention, check the data again, yada yada yada. They expect me to come up with a "Royal Flush." However, it is hard to get that kind of hand when you start off with a 3 of spades and a 7 of diamonds.

But, for all the over-emphasis on data, there is one aspect that the "data-preachers" always seem to neglect. The human aspect. These kids are not just numbers. They're human beings. They can be resilient. I need to get it in my head to stop looking at them as numbers. Numbers are what make me go home at the end of the day, feeling like I've been an ass. Humans are what make me go home at the end of the day, feeling like I'll be missed.

It's been 6 weeks. A full grading period. Today, my students let me know that they missed my presence. I think the bond is starting to solidify. I think, maybe next time, I'll miss them.

Compliments Can Go A Long Way

We had an assembly today for 4th and 5th graders. A speaker from one of the local community colleges came and spoke to the kids about the importance of college and about the many opportunities college provided.

I make it a point, before any assembly, to have a "class discussion" over etiquette and expectations. We talk about how to act when someone is speaking. We talk about "wiggling" in the seat. We talk about "active" listening. We talk about asking "relevant" questions. And, of course, we talk about going to the bathroom before we go to the assembly (not during). Actually, I don't really give them an option there... I make them go to the bathroom.

Anyway, we arrived and shortly thereafter, the speaker began speaking. My kids were attentive (or at least...they were trying to be). The information could've been going in one ear and out the other. But, at least they were "trying" to listen. As the speaking dragged on, the auditorium started becoming noticeably louder with the sounds of "fidgetiness" (if that's a word). The speaker then passed out a flyer with bullet points on it (oh no). She intended to read from it and have the 175 or so students follow along. Not more than 5 minutes later, several students throughout the auditorium were showing "Pirate" career aspirations because the flyers were now rolled-up spyglasses.

A few of my students started this up as well (a few). I would've loved to see the point-of-view from my students' perspective as they panned the spyglass slowly across the auditorium only to pan right into my disapproving face. They immediately stopped, but throughout the auditorium, the fidgeting and "telescoping" continued. The speaker courageously tried to continue on. Every time she was ready to wrap up, the counselor (who organized this) would walk up to her and say something to her (during which, whispers and talking from the audience started to grow). The speaker would nod to the counselor and then say, "Your counselor has also asked me to speak about...." Then, she would continue on speaking.

As she continued to speak, the fidgeting grew worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the school principal slowly make her way up to the front of the auditorium. She got to the front and stood and watched over the whole auditorium with a very disapproving face. She finally had to interrupt the speaker. She told her, "Excuse me, but I need to interrupt for a second...." Then, in a very stern, not-loud-but-definitely-audible-voice, she said, "Will everybody STOP... wiggling around?"

Everybody stopped instantaneously.

Then she said, "Will everybody STOP....playing with those papers?"

Then, 99.8% of the paper rustling noises stopped.

Then, she chided them for their inattentiveness, called out a few of the .2% who were still playing with the flyers, pointed at others, reminded them of "proper" behaviors in the auditorium, apologized to the speaker, then let her continue with her speaking (during which the principal continued to stand in front of the auditorium looking over the congregation like a hawk).

The assembly eventually ended, and dismissal procedures began. My class was close to the front, and the auditorium was dismissing from the rear. So, we were waiting.

As we were waiting, the presenter came up to me and started talking. She told me that she usually spoke to high school students about college. She had come with the intent of speaking for about ten minutes because she figured the attention span of elementary kids would be very short. But, when she got to the school, the counselor had asked her to go for 30 minutes. Then, of course, the counselor had started interjecting to her in the middle of the assembly to "speak about this" or "speak about that."

Then, she thanked me for having a "well-behaved" and attentive class. She said that she had really noticed them while she was speaking. And, I thanked her for the compliment. I was really pretty proud. I honestly, rarely get compliments. The ones that I do get, usually come from biased-well-intentioned friends (which I appreciate, but take with a grain of salt, because I know I can't be that good). But, a compliment from a total stranger? That really made me feel...well...competent.

It was a good day. My students, who are some of the most fidgety and talkative that I've ever had, did me proud (and did themselves proud). I let them know it too. When we returned to the classroom, I gave the students my compliments, and awarded each of them with one... single... succulent.... fruity... Jolly Rancher, and the permission to eat them in class. Gold.

My classroom smelled like a giant strawberry for the remainder of the day, and nothing came close to dampening it.

B.P. S.O.L.

Today my BP kid started to show his true colors. B.P. stands for "behavior program." He has a behavior checklist and I made sure to put an "x" in the sections where appropriate. But, I have this sneaky suspicion that it is not going to do much good.

My opinion on behavior checklists has dipped in the last few years. The lists are too detailed and too time consuming. Plus, students really seem to know how to skirt around the "behavior targets" so that they still act out without getting marked for it. It seems like I'm always dealing in "gray" areas. Tired of it.

That's all for today.

Day 2-You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A First Impression

This summer during our professional development trainings "they" emphasized that they wanted our classrooms covered with student-generated work, not store-bought posters. "They" also said that when we started off the year, they expected our classroom walls to be somewhat bare (to make room for the student generated work, of course). "They" said that they wouldn't be "upset" with us if they came to our classroom early on in the year and we didn't have anything up on our walls.

Now, we are in the second day of school, so I really don't have any student work to put up on the walls yet. We're still going over rules and procedures, getting routines down, sorting out school supplies, retraining bladders, etc.

Well, today we also found out that we are getting a visit to our campus tomorrow from a VIP (namely the superintendent of schools). So, now all of the sudden word comes through the grapevine that I have to adorn my bulletin boards with stuff just in case the supe decides to walk down my hallway (or, God forbid, into my classroom).

It really gets tiresome to me when one hand doesn't know what the other is doing. Or when the left hand is not on the same page as the right. Such is life in this district. That is what it has been for 14 years, and that's probably what it will be for another 14. Everyone is always worried about appearances and perception. And yes, it has filtered down to me. But that's another blog.

Heck, maybe tomorrow's!

First Day 2009-2010

I'm having a frustrating year... Yup. Day 1. My sanity and mental faculties are already being tested. June, July, and half of August weren't quite enough the recuperation time I needed.

My students last year bled me dry. Ever see the movie "Lifeforce"? About these alien vampires discovered in space and brought back to Earth? The female vampire literally sucks the life out of her victims, shriveling them up into dry corpses (all the while walking around London in her birthday suit). This year's group (I have a feeling) are going to be kind of like her (except for the birthday suit part, thankfully). I'm somewhat familiar with most of them already because I had the opportunity...err, um, disadvantage... of proctoring a good deal of them when they took their state standardized tests last year.

I feel like I'm losing my rose-colored glasses. I am coming to a crossroads after 14 years. Performance pay, evaluations, instructional strategies that only work in the movies, are just a few of the reasons why I am approaching this crossroad. My track record of success automatically puts me at a disadvantage because I'm entrusted with the hardest of the hard (which can make it more taxing for me in my quest to reach goals).

In the NFL, it is perception that if you give your star running back more than 30 carries a game, that you're potentially shortening his career. Breaking him down, so to speak. I am in no way trying to equate myself as the star teacher at my school, but I do feel like I'm being broken down.

I asked for a "change" this year, a reprieve if you will... a break from the front lines. Still requesting a challenging task, but involving a population with more "receptive" minds. Needless to say, I didn't get what I asked for. Others got what I had requested instead (others who are less experienced). Honestly, I really just wanted a reprieve. A chance to decompress and recuperate from the challenging group I had the previous year. Then, after a year or two, I would go back to the front lines. Because, in reality, I really do enjoy the tough hardened populations that I have taught year after year for 14 years. Most of the time, I get no thanks from them or their parents. But, I take satisfaction from the fact that I know they left me with a lot more "stuff" in their head.

So I started the day with yet another hardened group, while still wounded from last year's battle. Stuff that I could usually easily put aside, or ignore in the past, was not so easy to ignore today. Kids outwardly arguing whether Joe Student said "pussy" or "pussycat", or Susie Sunshine not knowing the name of the apartment she lives at, or me having to repeat the same direction an ungodly amount of times was enough to make me go buy a lotto ticket today, and also contemplate furthering my education.

It looks like it is another case of "same shit, different year" syndrome for me. This time, I don't know if I'll recover.