Hot Cheetos: Spawn of the Devil? Or Life?

This country is going down the tubes.
There... I said it.

In another 10 to 20 years... when my former
students are out in the workforce, these are some
of the predicted conversations that will occur:

Former Student: "I'm sorry, but according to this
X-Ray, you have cancer."

Patient: "Oh my God! Really?
How do you know? Show it to me?"

Former Student: "That
spot right there."

Patient: "Um... that's a Hot Cheeto
crumb."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Customer: "What areas or companies do you recommend that I
invest my money in?"

Former Student: "Frito Lay"

Customer: "Really, why?"

Former
Student: "They make some good tastin' Hot Cheetos."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Police officer: "Why did you run that red light?"

Former Student: "I spilled my bag of Hot Cheetos on the
floor and was trying to pick them up."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The Joint Chiefs: "Mr President, we are at DefCon 5. The
Iranians have just launched 50 long range ICBMs and they're headed right for
us."

Former Student: "Get me my suitcase with the
nuclear codes right now!"

Presidential Aide: "Here it
is, Mr. President."

Former student unlocks suitcase.

Former Student: "Um... this is my Hot Cheeto stash. You
see another dark black suitcase lying around here somewhere?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ok. So I'm using quite a bit of
poetic license here. I admit it. One of my former students
as President of the United States? As a doctor?

Nope, I don't think so. The group I have this year
is about as serious for their education as a clown
and a whoopee cushion.

The Hot Cheeto....

It corrupts the mind.

Maybe the conversations might be more along these lines:

Boss: The customer is complaining that her car
hasn't been working right since you changed her oil. Check it out, now!"

Former Student opens car hood, opens oil cap, and looks inside.

Former Student: "So, that's where my bag of Hot Cheetos
went!!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Garbage Collector 1: "Hey dude, there's almost a full bag of
Hot Cheetos in that lady's garbage!"

Former Student:
"Nu Uh, Really man?"

Garbage Collector 1: "Seriously,
dude! You should take em' man!"

Former Student: "Hell
yeah, I'm gonna take em'"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I swear that stuff has nicotine in it... or something.

I have never known of any substance, aside from Spice, to cause such a hubbub of excitement, commotion, and general pants-going-craziness.

If they made it illegal, it might solve the drug problem in this country.

The Hot Cheeto.... Is Life....