Excessive Celebration

If you're a sports fan, you've seen it before. Your football team is down 49 to 7. Two minutes left to go in the game. The other team has the ball. The next play is a running play and the runner is stuffed behind the line by one of your team's defensive players. Then the player that makes the tackle celebrates by doing a little dance, pumping a fist, or chest bumping one of his teammates.

Umm.. dude, its 49 to 7. If you had done that about 15 to 20 times throughout the game, maybe you would have a reason to celebrate. But, as it goes... you've only done it once, and once is not enough. You still lose. Dumb ass.

I bring this up because this idea, philosophy, idiocy (whatever you want to call it) has trickled down to the elementary school level. I'm not saying that there is a direct correlation between how pro athletes celebrate accomplishment and how our elementary school children celebrate accomplishment, but its amazing how similar it is.

Case in point: It is one day after a test. The tests have been graded and returned to the students. During class, I go over the test so that the students can get an idea of where they went wrong. Perhaps they can learn from their mistakes?

I reach question #9. The class pays attention to my expert instruction as I explain the strategies I used and the steps that I followed. When I arrive at the correct answer for the whole class to see, little Johnny lets out a whispered "YES!" accompanied by a subtle fist pump. It appears he got it right, and wants to let the whole class know that he is an expert in the particular area/objective that was addressed in question #9.

Unfortunately, little Johnny missed questions 1 through 8, and #10 as well for a score of 10%. But that doesn't phase Johnny. He is "in the moment". He is "king of the hill". He is master of the "improper fraction".

Dude, you made a 10. Chill out. If you had bothered to think through the other 9 problems, listen to your teacher a little more, or do your homework, you might actually have a reason to celebrate! But, as it goes.... you got one question right, and one is not enough. You still fail. Dumb ass.

Makes me want to pull my hair out. That's when you see the joint of my jaw pulsate through my cheek, as I wear down my teeth. That's when you see that vein pop out on my forehead.

I'm sure a lot has to do with the coddling that we do as teachers. This excessive praise for things that should be a natural occurrence is creating a generation of kids who are satisfied with being mediocre. Or even worse, sub-par.

Makes me want to throw up.

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