Early Retirement?

Ugh... It's days like this that make me wonder:

"Do I have the ability to do this for another 17 to 20 years???"

The first days of school are always hectic, true. First weeks are always hectic. But, it really is days like today, that make me want to go back to college and earn a second degree. Heck, I'd consider an associate's degree in auto mechanics (they probably make more money and they get to have tattoos). Seriously though, we can have tattoos. But, what would I get? A giant apple on my back? A multiplication chart on my ass? A place value chart wrapped around my bicep like a tribal band? (Maybe I could make it into the millions period if the print was small enough).

Seriously though, auto mechanics have it easy! Plus, if they don't have the parts, they can order them from Detroit and get them within the week. I can't rightfully tell Johnny's mother that he's missing the portion of his brain that controls logical reasoning and that I need her to sign a consent form so that I can order the replacement part from Dr. Frankenstein's lab (if it could only be that easy). Furthermore, they can always refer to the owner's manual for tire pressures, oil grades, and how to use the jack. If kids could just come with a manual that had their friggin' address on it I'd be happy. Seriously.... If you're 10 years old, you should know your home address. And if you don't, your parent should take the responsibility to staple that information onto your forehead.

Auto mechanics also only have to worry about engine cycles. No monthly cycles. What is it with being notified of those on the first day of school? This is the first time in my 12 years that this has been an "issue" on the first day of school. Sure, it happens during the middle of the year all the time. But, on the first day of school? I guess it was bound to happen. Its the hormones in the chicken, I know.

I do enjoy my job, don't get me wrong. I'm sure I'll grow to like a majority of these kids, and I'm sure they'll grow to like me as well. But when I'm 49, will I feel the same way? Will I have the energy? Will I have the stamina? Will I show up to work with my shirt tail sticking out of my trouser zipper? (inside joke). Will I show up with suspenders attached to my underwear? (another inside joke). Will I show up to work one day with mismatched shoes? (oops, already did that). Will my ties look ridiculously out of style? (NEVER!!)

Well, I really don't know what will happen then. All I can worry about is what happens tomorrow (and the rest of the school year). So, put your tray tables up and put your seats in their full upright position. Fasten your seatbelts because its gonna be another bumpy ride!