What's in the air? (besides sleet & snow)

Today will definitely go down as the worst day ever in my teaching career. What was wrong with these kids today? It's like they've pulled a Lon Chaney Jr. on me (and they weren't all that good before the "werewolf syndrome"). These little elementary "angels" were anything-but angels today. First off, the overall talking level has just been completely overboard this week. Maybe one reason was: they were holed up in a classroom all day Tuesday taking a field test for TAKS. So, Wednesday and Thursday have been a release for them. It's almost like they think the test was the actual "biggie". They are so relieved that its all over and they think that they can relax now. Sorry, kiddos!

The real straw, however, was the last two periods of the day. One of my co-workers had to leave early for something today (can't remember what, but it was legitimate). The substitute cancels or is a no-show, and we can't get a teacher assistant to come cover her class. So, we split up her kids into the remaining class sections of our level. I got a bad mix. They pushed my buttons. It really is true what they say about how just 2 to 4 kids can really ruin the dynamics of a class. The class was working on these individual mini-projects and I just had too many kids getting out of their seats and talking to others in different parts of the room. And they weren't talking about what they were working on either. It was not "accountable talk" and it was not "socializing intelligence". It was just socializing. Socializing on a level I have not quite seen before. Kind of like the nuclear bomb of socializing. Busy little birds, these children were...and it couldn't be stopped. Until I yelled.

I'm not a yeller. It just strains the throat and they eventually learn to tune it out. I am very calm with the children. I always seem to have a good rapport with all my classes. It is a good balance of mentor, friend, funny uncle, and teacher. If a kid isn't doing what they are supposed to do and they've had several chances to respond to correction, I have a "firmer" voice that I use, but that volume is about as far as I've gone in a long time. Today, the decibel level I've grown accustomed to using with my kids was surpassed. I yelled. They got quiet. I reamed. They stayed quiet.

When I give a class reprimand, I always throw in the "and I know it's not all of you" line and the "if you're one of the ones that are making good choices, then thank you so much" line for the ones that are doing what they are supposed to do. Believe it or not, some students are "perfect" in that sense. They respond appropriately to an authority figure and they behave appropriately in class. They don't deserve to be hollered at. I make it a point to let them know that. Today I tried to let them know that too. Because, amidst all the chaos, you could see them trying to do their work, trying to not get involved in the hubbub, trying to be good. You could see them trying to keep their noses to the grindstone, while their eyes would occasionally scan the room to see the storm brewing. They knew a storm was brewing. I gritted my teeth and counted to ten in my head, but nothing could stop the vein that bulges in the middle of my forehead when I am stressed or angry. I'm so sorry they had to see that part of me. I've maybe had to yell like that three times in my eleven years as a teacher (and they were all in my first one or two years). Today was a new low for what has truly been a very stressful year.